December 9, 2014 § 1 Comment
I love fangirl stuff. And people seem to think it’s the only kind of gift I want. Don’t get me wrong. My plush ‘lil Sebastian and my Treat Yo Self tee are prized possessions. But since I’ve become a fanwoman, I want my fangirl merch to be more than just cute. Enter the concept of the BAMF talisman.
So if you’re looking for a way to spend the cash your grandma sent you or want to find an empowering gift for a fangirl friend, here are some of my picks!
Lady BAMF Candle
Have a big job interview or a final coming up? Need the energy to say “No” to a family member or “Yes” to a new project? Light a lady BAMF candle and summon your courage! You can make your own or buy one on Etsy. I love this Leslie Knope one, and it’s a steal at $7.
The Good Wife Inspired Bling
It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mention something from my favorite show, right? Diane Lockhart usually has a BAMF power ring (what some might call a cocktail ring) on her middle finger. I like to think it’s her classy way of telling people to fuck off. Try one of these Blue Bijoux rings from Max and Chloe ($30, plus 20% off!) to make you feel powerful at work! If that’s not your style and you have $62 bucks to spend, you can still get Kalinda’s lucky horseshoe necklace here.
My Triumphs, My Mistakes Journal
Want to keep track of your successes and setbacks in 2015? Was your life ruined by Battlestar Galactica? Then this Dr. Gaius Baltar journal is perfect for you. I mean, nobody’s perfect right? I keep track of my rejections to keep me motivated to write, but I’m also careful to record my BAMF wins so that I can look over the year and be proud! If you still can’t stand the sight of Baltar’s face, maybe pick up a cool “So say we all” temporary tattoo for a day you need inspiration?
(Caution: spoilers ahead!) Every fangirl needs a sweatshirt to hide her face in when her OTP flirts, but why not have one that asks one of the most important question in life as well? What would Carol Peletier do? If Michonne is your favorite or if you don’t have $40 to spend, then you need one of my favorite BAMF talismans, the katana sword necklace. And if Beth is your favorite…well I’m super sorry and hope you recover as quickly as you can in this difficult time.
If none of these activate your feels, then stay tuned! I’ll have more holiday gift ideas next week.
Until then, keep on BAMFing.
September 8, 2014 § Leave a comment
Carl thinks I’m not a very good writer. Carl tells me I should be working harder at my day job, that I should be getting up earlier, and that I’m have no clue what I’m doing in most areas of my life. If Carl sounds like an asshole, that’s because he is.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying out a new fangirl therapy technique that I’d like to share with with you. Like any writer, or any human for that matter, sometimes I struggle with negative thinking. Turning off self-doubt is about as easy turning off gravity, and even when you know that you’re being irrational, it can seem impossible to do anything different.
So I decided that I would give my negative thoughts a name. In narrative therapy, we call this “externalizing” a problem. If I’m thinking that I’m going to fail at a task, that thought seems pretty daunting. But if Carl says I am, well then what the fuck does he know? Suddenly I’m energized to take risks, and his opinion means about as much to me as an internet comment or a plotline from the final season Gossip Girl.
If you want to give it a try, pick a name (male or female, doesn’t matter). Then visualize a character from fiction that you despise and can associate with the name. I like to think of Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica. Joffrey from Game of Thrones or Thomas from Downton Abbey would also be great picks. Or Mr. Healy from Orange is the New Black. I’m trying to think of a lady, but damn, ladies are just awesome aren’t they? Maybe Delores Umbridge from Harry Potter. Just anyone you despise and whose opinion has no value to you whatsoever.
And the next time you have a negative thought, say it out loud but preface it with your character’s name. For example, “Milton thinks I will die alone with 57 cats.” Honestly, what the hell does he know? Milton does not operate on facts.
You are not the problem. You were never the problem. The problem is the problem. So you might as well give it a name and a face, and keep on walking.