Fangirl Holiday Gifts That Inspire

December 9, 2014 § 1 Comment

I love fangirl stuff. And people seem to think it’s the only kind of gift I want. Don’t get me wrong. My plush ‘lil Sebastian and my Treat Yo Self tee are prized possessions. But since I’ve become a fanwoman, I want my fangirl merch to be more than just cute. Enter the concept of the BAMF talisman.

So if you’re looking for a way to spend the cash your grandma sent you or want to find an empowering gift for a fangirl friend, here are some of my picks!

Lady BAMF Candle

lkHave a big job interview or a final coming up? Need the energy to say “No” to a family member or “Yes” to a new project? Light a lady BAMF candle and summon your courage! You can make your own or buy one on Etsy. I love this Leslie Knope one, and it’s a steal at $7.


The Good Wife Inspired Bling


It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mention something from my favorite show, right? Diane Lockhart usually has a BAMF power ring (what some might call a cocktail ring) on her middle finger. I like to think it’s her classy way of telling people to fuck off. Try one of these Blue Bijoux rings from Max and Chloe ($30, plus 20% off!) to make you feel powerful at work! If that’s not your style and you have $62 bucks to spend, you can still get Kalinda’s lucky horseshoe necklace here.

My Triumphs, My Mistakes Journal


Want to keep track of your successes and setbacks in 2015? Was your life ruined by Battlestar Galactica?  Then this Dr. Gaius Baltar journal is perfect for you. I mean, nobody’s perfect right? I keep track of my rejections to keep me motivated to write, but I’m also careful to record my BAMF wins so that I can look over the year and be proud! If you still can’t stand the sight of Baltar’s face, maybe pick up a cool “So say we all” temporary tattoo for a day you need inspiration? 

Peletier Swag


(Caution: spoilers ahead!) Every fangirl needs a sweatshirt to hide her face in  when her OTP flirts, but why not have one that asks one of the most important question in life as well? What would Carol Peletier do? If Michonne is your favorite or if you don’t have $40 to spend, then you need one of my favorite BAMF talismans, the katana sword necklace. And if Beth is your favorite…well I’m super sorry and hope you recover as quickly as you can in this difficult time.

If none of these activate your feels, then stay tuned! I’ll have more holiday gift ideas next week.

Until then, keep on BAMFing.

What Does Your Girl Crush Say About You?

October 22, 2014 § 3 Comments

Monday night I was in Brooklyn swooning over one of my very favorite actresses, the talented Amy Ryan. I loved seeing her on stage and absorbing the BAMF energy that was clearly in the room, and it made me start thinking about the types of lady crushes I’ve had over the years. When you think about it, the world right now is ripe for girl crushing. With the vast wasteland of tweets, gifs, and videos that is the Internet, what starts as admiration of a TV character or celebrity can blossom into full-blown mania after a few innocent Google searches.

But not all girl crushes sprout from the same soil, as there is a whole catalog of lady loves out there. The object of your crush reflects where you are in your own life, perhaps stalled at a major turning point or stuck in a social or emotional deficit. Here’s just a smattering of the many types of crushes a fangirl may develop, and what they might say about you.


Emma Pillsbury from Glee was one of my first hairporn crushes. And yes, I still have that Milly sweater hanging in my closet.

The Hairporn Crush – Don’t be fooled by the initial innocence of mooning over a female’s hair, clothing, face, or general appearance. Perhaps the most common type of crush, in many ways it can also be the most devastating. In extreme cases, the admirer may seek to completely imitate and replicate the person’s hairstyle or color or fashion sense. Or she simply might be debilitated with tears. It’s important to remember, however, that your bank account is not Blair Waldorf’s, and that your favorite celebrities have hours of prep before they read their lines. So listen to your girl crush, and don’t be afraid to try something new with your style, but keep it within the realm of reality.

The Mom Crush – A rarer breed of crushing, this one occurs when the fangirl projects unresolved parental attachment onto a celebrity or fictional character. While it can be healthy and even productive to admire the qualities of an older female, it can be quite damaging for a person to pine after a relationship than can never happen. For example, maybe Lorelai Gilmore is the mom you always wanted, but dwelling on a fantasy won’t get you very far. The best cure is to dedicate some time working on your own family relationships, and to develop mutually beneficial female friendships with older women.

The Friend Crush – Fictional characters are often adorable dorks, so it’s no wonder that we sometimes wouldn’t mind adding them to our list of friends. But if you’re over the age of 6 then you’re way past the imaginary friend acceptability window. The best cure for the type of crush is to find a friend who admires the same qualities in an individual and have some adventures together. In other words, turn off the TV and go find the Yang to your Meredith Grey, or the Ann Perkins to your Leslie Knope.

The Ninja Crush – Sometimes we see fictional ladies doing the most badass shit imaginable, like blowing stuff up, or doing magic like whoa. That doesn’t make us necessarily want to join the military or buy a samurai sword, but we need their energy to study for exams or stand up to our bosses. A ninja crush can be a great tool to rev you up in the morning, so if you need to watch Bellatrix Lestrange smoke people or Michonne from The Walking Dead decapitate 27 zombies, then by all means do it. Just figure out what the ninja version of yourself would look like, and be bold.

0452159b039c20872c65394bd9eef2ef_2810a28b480e3564eee37b44c5af56a1The Mentor Crush – Sometimes we see an older female character getting shit done and not apologizing for it. Perhaps it’s the way she leans on her desk when lecturing a younger colleague, or the way she dangles her glasses when she’s questioning a witness in court. Or just often it’s the wisdom that floats out of her mouth that makes us stop and take notes. What it says about you? That you need to move out your comfort zone and ask a real woman to be your mentor. Having a real life hero to cheer you on is infinitely better than silently pining over who’s on your DVR.

The Situation Room Crush – Sometimes two or more of these types of crushes can combine, morphing into an insatiable feelings monster. I call this state of being “The Situation Room.” Used in a sentence: “Kathleen can’t hang out with you this week, because she’s in the Situation Room.” Chances are if you girl crush has morphed into obsession, and your real life job is at stake because of all the time you’ve spent creating a fanpage for your idol, then you’re using your crush to managing the anxiety of real life. This means you need to take a step back, find some healthier ways of coping, and even seek professional help if it gets worse.

So listen to your girl crushes, and they will tell you what you need in life. You can always entertain yourself with their great hair and bold moves, but consider what it would mean to start living that reality. You can swoon over ladies, or you can become a lady worthy of swooning.


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