Power Poses Revamped

February 25, 2015 § Leave a comment

Body language impacts your brain and your personality. Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk highlighted this reality a few years ago. But why limit yourself to the same boring Wonder Woman pose? There is an endless choreography of BAMF poses you can try to feel more powerful. Here are a few.

 1. The Commander


Huddle your troops with this move.


Everything the light touches is your kingdom.


2. The BAMF Lean


Enlighten hapless coworkers with your chair prop.


Add an over-the-glasses peer to strike terror.


3. The One-Arm


A versatile move that’s good for lecturing.


For AP BAMFing, try the one-arm-hair-flip-glasses-dangle.


4. The Merkel

David Cameron and Angela Merkel

You just stick your hand out to stop a dood from being wrong.


“Look at you being so wrong in your wrongness.”


5. The Couch Arm


Words are inadequate.

Remember, when it comes to power poses, take it slow.


It’s not about how you look but how you’ll feel as you conquer.

*For more inspiration, check out my friend’s tumblr or angelamerkeldealingwithpeople.tumblr.com.

Vote for the BAMFiest one-liner!

October 3, 2014 § Leave a comment

Already ladies, here are the top ten that you submitted! Polls close Tuesday at 5pm EST! Winner gets a mug o’ BAMF. So, which line do you think is the BAMFiest?



A Cap is Worth a Thousand Creys

August 19, 2014 § 1 Comment

What do you do in your spare time? I take pictures of TV shows.

Why do we take screen captures (aka caps) when we can just watch a scene over and over again? Because hairporn. Because feels. Because everything. Stories move quickly, and sometimes we just want to freeze a moment in time. Here are a few of my favorites.


This is from season 2 of Cheers. Nothing sums of the pinnacle of comedy TV romance than this nose pulling shot of Sam and Diane.


This cap literally changed my life. Captivated by Glee designer Lou Eyrich’s vision for TV fashion icon Emma Pillsbury, I gave up pants for a year, added color to my wardrobe, and made many fangirl friends as we tracked down Glee fashion on eBay. After all, Penelope J. Crew Mary Janes are the most dangerous game.


LOST’s The Constant is arguably the best television episode ever written. I see this cap and start wailing, “I love ya Penny. I’ve always loved ya!” in a horrible Scottish accent. I mean it’s Christmas Eve for crying out loud. EIGHT YEARS.

Our social media lives are so saturated with selfies and sepia-toned instagram shots these days that we honestly don’t need any more pictures of ourselves. But what if you started watching your own life and taking mental screen caps? Freezing the moments you’d like to examine more closely, and capturing your BAMFy self in action. What would you see? What would other people see?

You should have at least one moment every day where you can take a mental screen cap and be proud of yourself. Maybe you’re taking initiative at work, or standing up for yourself in a relationship. Perhaps you got out of bed early to do some yoga. Being able to see yourself in the moment working toward your goals is worth more than a thousand “I should’s.” So live a life that’s worth capping.

That being said, thanks to those of you who submitted BAMF caps for our first ever Fangirl Therapy Capoff! Here are your submissions, and you can vote for your favorite! Poll closes on Friday at 5pm EST.

1. First Lady Martha Logan, resident badass of 24


2. Sassy Detective Amy Sykes of Major Crimes


3. Captain Sharon F**king  Raydor of Major Crimes


4. Laura Roslin of Battlestar Galactica becoming President of the Universe

battlestar-galactica-miniseries-roslin-swearing-in-as-president 2

5. Laura Roslin looking into your soul


6. Helicopter view of The Good Wife’s Diane Lockhart


7. Diane Lockhart Does Fierce


8. Barn Casual Diane Lockhart seducing her Republican boyfriend

9. And finally, elevator!rage Diane Lockhart


Thanks for everybody who submitted! For those who forgot and still want to share your favorites, you can email me and I’ll post them on twitter.

Have a great week, and live a life worth capping! I’ll be answering your questions this week and can’t wait to hear from you.


fangirl dilemma: have I got what it takes?

June 10, 2014 § 2 Comments

Tessa writes,

Hello 🙂 Thank you for your blog and for this website, for sharing and inspiring! Could you please give me some advice still?  Very often I just spend time watching the stuff BAMF’s (both fictional and real-life) do, and they (you included) always awe me. However I don’t think that I deserve to be like that. I don’t think that I have such great qualities in me, such morals and courage. Is this possibly true? Thank youxx


Thanks for your honest words.  Once I read this fabulous quote from a poet posted by another blogger. It goes, “We are vey badly made, but we are not finished.”

I can’t think of a better way to understand being a BAMF. Yes BAMFs might stick to their morals and be courageous, but they can be extraordinarily shitty people at times like the rest of us. Laura Roslin cheated to win an election. My current love Diane Lockhart sold her partner out to try to get a promotion. That’s why they’re so appealing to me. They’re flawed gorgeous creatures who manage to rise out of their own hopeless humanity more often than not.

Maybe you don’t feel like you have what it takes, but the best place to start is to consider what extremely shitty circumstances have helped build the person you are.

I’m growing as a writer because I get up and try when I don’t feel like it. But also because I’ve been rejected more times than notes on my most popular tumblr meme.

I’m growing in my relationships because of my willingness to take responsibility for myself. But also because I’ve stayed in bad ones even though I knew the other person never loved me and never would.

I’m growing as a BAMF because I see the qualities in amazing women I admire. But also because I missed out on important relationships with BAMFs in real life I ignored or neglected.

Tessa, I am very badly made. But I’m not finished with myself.  And neither are you. Your humanness is the most important trait you will ever need to be a BAMF. And god knows we’re up to our ears in our humanness!

So keep paying attention to real and fictional BAMFs, but don’t forget to pay attention to yourself. All the ingredients are already there. Just don’t be afraid to mess up a few times along the way.



Holiday BAMF Gifts To Give Yourself

December 16, 2013 § Leave a comment

You don’t need other people or much money to get some BAMFspirational presents for the holidays. Over the next few days I’ll be posting some ideas of gifts you can give yourself to start 2014 off right.

Gift #1: The BAMF Talisman

Find a necklace or a pendant that symbolizes a powerful fictional lady or an interest you have, and keep it close on the days you need that extra push. I have a few, including the two dollar F21 necklace below that makes me think of Laura Roslin.


American Horror Story “Supreme” Necklace (on etsy)


The Walking Dead Michonne Katana Necklace


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