Google Rundown Part Two

April 22, 2015 § Leave a comment

It’s that time again where I pick some of the random-ass questions you guys type into Google to find my site. And I answer them! Here are some of my favorites.

What are the words to describe a fangirl?
I’ll give you four. BETTER. THAN. EVERYONE. ELSE.

How to get over fangirling?
Get under a good book. Or honestly, don’t get over fangirling. Just make it work for you.

How many people become fangirls per day?
\tfrac{dR}{dT} = \gamma I - \mu R

where I is the number infected, and R is the number of former fangirls who recover with immunity.

Who is Diane Lockhart?


I don’t know what to say in therapy.
Start with the truth. If you think your therapist isn’t doing a great job, tell him/her that. We want to know.

How to create fangirl phrases.
Take regular words you use and then turn them into acronyms like cool military speak.

Fangirl: That was off the charts OFB for a MAL.
Translated: A middle-aged lady exhibited outrageously fancy behavior.

How to tell people you’re a fangirl. 
 With words, or an interpretive dance set to Kenny Loggins’ Danger Zone.”

How to save money if you are a fangirl.
Acquire a sand box shaped like a turtle. Bury a Sacagawea dollar in it every time you check Tumblr. BOOM life savings.

How to fangirl in class without getting caught. 
YOUTHS OF THE WORLD, pay attention to your teachers.  But if you’re in grad school, I suggest you use imessage on your laptop instead of texting. That way it’ll look like you’re taking diligent notes when you’re trading Cate Blanchett set photos from Carol instead. I MEAN LOOK AT THIS WOMAN:


Could a fangirl die without her TV shows?
Yes. But could a fangirl not die with her TV shows? No. We are not like Bernadette Peters and are mortal. Our time on this earth is short, so we just have to make sure we watch the right TV shows.

What happens to girls that fangirl?
They grow up to be badass women.

Self-help book for fangirls?
Oooh YAS I know this one! The Fangirl Life in 2016 from Perigee Books!

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