Fangirl Dilemma: The Dark Side

January 5, 2015 § 3 Comments

notsohighfunctioningsociopath writes,

So recently I’ve begun to watch Star Wars, which I’ve never seen before (sue me), and I have a very strong, debilitating case of feels. It’s terrible, and interfering with my life. Also since everyone knows what’s going to happen, I know a bunch of spoilers. Ugh, but I can’t not watch it. Can I in any way control this? 

Kidding! But seriously, having a lot of feels is the exact opposite of being a sociopath, so not sure what your name is about.

When you think about it, being a fangirl is a lot like being a Jedi. Let’s look at a couple Yoda precepts for help.

Luke: What’s in there? Yoda: Only what you take with you. 

Your experience of a TV show, movie, or book is comprised of what you bring to the table. This is especially true when you’re participating in a fandom. If you bring anger, you’ll find anger. If you bring jealously, you’ll be jealous of others. So friend, if you’re looking for something to interfere with your life, then that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Star Wars isn’t keeping your shit from being together. It’s a convenient and wonderful distraction, but watching it or not watching it has nothing to do with how you choose to live your life.

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Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.

Where do feels come from? When we have an intense emotional reaction to something, we’re operating out of a fear of loss. This could look like being scared your girlfriend will cheat on you, or not getting on a plane because you’re afraid of dying. In fangirl world, it manifests as our struggle with the reality that shows end, good writing fades, and characters die, depart, or do things we don’t like. So controlling your feels means confronting yourself with this reality. Star Wars ends, George Lucas destroys things, our passions flicker out. This is all part of the cycle of fangirl life.  And embracing this reality prepares you to enjoy new characters when we encounter them.

A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack

Being a fanwoman is about defending yourself from the negative thoughts you might have about yourself. So beating yourself up when it comes to your obsessions is no more useful than whaling on the nearest Sith Lord with a lightsaber. It might feel good, but all of a sudden you’re staring at your creepy, gloved robot arm in a foreshadowing climax. Understanding your feels and how they emerge is not about feeling guilty or less than. It’s educating yourself how your fangirl brain works and how you can use it for good instead of evil. For success instead of distraction.

Nothing more will I teach you today. Clear your mind of questions. The Force is your ally, and a powerful ally it is! So pay attention to what it shows you, and don’t pay attention to the odds. And for the love of god, don’t watch the prequels. Watch this instead.

Love,

Kathleen

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