January 12, 2016 § Leave a comment
Frustrated Fangirl writes,
What do you do when your celeb crushes are dating or married to people you just do not like? My favorite female celeb is dating a guy who seems nice and seems to make her happy, but I think she could do better. He just doesn’t seem famous enough or good looking enough. It frustrates me because I want to be supportive and participate in her fandom, but I just don’t like this guy for her.
I liked it better when she was single because there were so many possibilities. But now she’s tied down to this one guy and it’s boring. I know I should be happy for her because they do seem to be getting along really well and they are kind of cute together. But it’s just not who I would pick for her. How do I feel better about this?
Having an opinion about a celebrity couple is about the easiest thing there is do to on the planet. But unless you know your fave and this guy in person, there’s no reason for you to pass judgment. As fangirls we become so enamored with playing matchmaker when it comes to fictional people that we think this playtime translates into knowing what’s best for living breathing people. It doesn’t.
The media teaches us that we can pick up a few US Weekly‘s and suddenly think we know what’s best for someone we’ve never met. And the currencies we use are the ones that society teaches us are the most important: fame and attractiveness. But when you’re on the inside a relationship, the honest truth is that those things don’t matter as much.
My suspicion is that if you’re fixated on your fave’s happiness, then you’re not that focused on your own. What are your own relationship goals? They don’t have to be romantic. Who are the people you’d pair yourself with, the friends, and the mentors, and the significant others that you’d cast? If you can keep the focus on what you can change (aka YOU), then it’s much easier to let others live their lives. The more you care about the plot twists your own story, the less someone else’s will upset you.
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