The Jealous Fangirl

October 5, 2015 § Leave a comment

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Julia writes, 

I am addicted to this character called L Lawliet from the anime Death Note. I get jealous with people when they mention him and I get really sad when I don’t know something about him. When I think a lot about it, I get a “fangirl attack”. What should I do?

When I was 12, I thought that I was one of maybe 5 people on the planet who had discovered that Star Wars was the greatest thing ever. This was before the Internet, before fangirls realized that we have to do this thing called sharing. I’m an only child, Julia, so you can imagine how impossible it felt for me to “share” my favorite characters.

The urge to know something first, to post something first, to claim something as yours and yours alone is very real. But every character that touches us is like a library book with a return date. When we hoard and cling, someone else misses out on the story.

Positive psychology teaches us that gratitude makes for a happier person. Being a grateful fangirl means accepting fictional loves with palms up and open. When we cling, our focus is on potentially losing what we love. When we remain open and grateful, we accept that we’ve been inspired and can encourage others to feel the same.

So here’s what I want you to try. Congratulate someone who has an interesting idea about L Lawliet. Ask someone to share with you what they like about him or don’t like. Give yourself permission to forget facts, to not be an expert. Thank someone for a fic they wrote. You may find that when you loosen your grip, you’ll appreciate the community that Death Note has allowed you to enter.

Best of luck!

Kathleen

Got a fangirl dilemma? Drop me a note!

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