May 17, 2017 § Leave a comment
Came across this book and site recently and have a fangirl question. I wouldn’t say I’m an obsessive fan, but when I fan over something I love it intensely and deeply and blog about it all day. When they’re celebrities and there’s a fan meet, I feel a real need to meet them. For the last 3 years, about once a year, I’ve been buying tickets overseas to attend fan meets in secret (often having to lie to others about my location and purpose for travel because it’s embarrassing and very last minute). I also fly 8-10 hours just for 2-3 days because I often have to get back to work. But I have a huge problem with plane anxiety and feel the guilt of lying to people I love…though I don’t mean to deceive them. I feel nervous that if something happened to me, they would be really upset…and all because I wanted to meet my favourite celebrity! Yesterday, I made the decision to not go on a plane to attend a fan meet I really wanted to see because it would mean that I’d have to get back on my sister’s birthday the next day, and I was nervous about the plane ride. I feel less guilty and relieved that I don’t have to ride on a plane, but also really empty and sad that I didn’t go through with my choice. How can I stop myself from feeling this way? What would you suggest I do about my addiction to overseas fan meets?
March 30, 2016 § Leave a comment
Hello, I am a HUGE geek. I like to watch gamers on YouTube and whenever I find a new ship, I tend to internally scream. If I find a new nOtp, I visibly gag and do whisper screams. How do I stop myself from overreacting over ships?
March 9, 2016 § 6 Comments
I wanted to give a big thank you to those who have been joining the #fangirlhealth Twitter chats every Wednesday night at 8pm. We’ve had some great discussion about how fangirling can be a source of inspiration rather than simple distraction and how fangirls can engage in self-care.
Tonight I’ll be doing some self-care of my own, so in lieu of the chat I’m leaving two fangirl mindfulness exercises for you to practice.
First, let’s look at some of the ways that a fangirl can be less than mindful:
February 2, 2016 § Leave a comment
So I get lost in my headcanon. A lot. It happens at work, at home, on the bus. . . After a CBT therapy last year, I realized that this behaviour could be an escapist response to my anxiety. I have since been trying to teach my brain not to go there all the time.
The only issue is that getting lost in my headcanon is the only way I’m able to write fic. Now that I’m trying to limit myself, my fic ideas remain unwritten. I’m afraid that if I indulge in them, I’ll just end up in an escapist fantasy again.
Any suggestions as to how I can still write my fic and be mindful?
January 6, 2016 § 2 Comments
Girl in the UK writes,
My issue is that my girl-crush is gaining in profile and popularity, particularly with one upcoming role. With this increase in attention comes bitchiness from gossip sites and people who disapprove of her casting in the upcoming role. Naturally, this makes me indescribably furious, to the extent that I have researched ways to hack and sabotage one gossip website (I didn’t go through with it). I struggle to look away from the nasty comments about my darling. Once I have seen a cruel comment, I feel compelled to look again and again, several times an hour, to see if there have been any more. This can go on for days until the thread becomes quiet. How can I break the habit of wallowing in NEGATIVE feelings and upsetting myself???
I worry about how any future criticism with affect my girl-crush’s career and feelings, as well as my own, as this sort of thing has depressed me for weeks and weeks in the past. I have no control over her emotions or the words of others, so how can I control my own anxiety and my sadness if people criticise my girl-crush?
December 4, 2015 § 1 Comment
Star Wars Gal writes,
I’m writing on behalf of my girlfriend. Lately she’s become very anxious about the upcoming Star Wars sequel. Specifically, she’s worried that the new movie will turn Luke into a villain (or kill him off). The idea that Luke could be dead in the film, or turned to the Dark Side, really really upsets her — she started crying about it at one point.
We’ve discussed why Luke is important to her as a character, and why she might be feeling so strongly about this possibility. We’ve agreed that I’ll go see the movie on my own first, to check if she’ll be able to cope with the plotline. What she’d like me to ask you is, can you recommend some ways to handle her anxiety and distress about this?
November 3, 2015 § Leave a comment
After a fandom related event happens, I crash. Like a concert where I’ll be in the same room as my faves, or a convention where I’ll be seeing the people of my dreams “in the flesh.” The days leading up to the event are often very exciting, but on the day I can make myself ill. I’ve had situations where I literally feel like I’m going to be sick. When the thing actually happens I’m shaking and I feel like I’ve left my own body. And then when it’s over, it’s like all my emotion has bubbled over and I’m left crying in the car on the way home. Sometimes I’m upset for days, when nothing actually bad has happened. In fact something amazing has happened! I’ve seen a fave!
I have a big fandom-y thing coming up and I’d love my memories of it not to be tarnished by the weird depressed feeling I get for days after. If you have any idea what the hell is going on or any tips on how to cope with being me, that you be wonderful.