Get a Life

January 27, 2016 § Leave a comment

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Team Sanan writes,

I want to stop fangirling, but it’s too difficult. How can I be a fangirl with moderation? I’m too distracted and I think I can’t focus on my own life. One of my habits is to download pictures, videos, and other stuff, to know who they are dating, where they live, and what school they are in. I think I’m too engrossed with their personal lives that I can’t focus on my own. Sometimes I feel envious that they get to experience a lot of things while I’m stuck at home and stalking them. I need help. I need to get a life.

Is a fangirl with moderation an oxymoron? I say no. I wrote an entire book saying no.

I’m not gonna list what behaviors are healthy and unhealthy. Your gut tells you when you’ve crossed over into Stalkertown. When you start to click on an aerial view of their house on Google maps and go, “Hmm. Yeah, this is getting weird.”

Instead, let’s talk about getting a life.

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Beating yourself up for having a less exciting personal life won’t work. You’ll never win a fight with yourself. Spicing up your life starts with a few tiny unicorn head pats. Maybe turning off your phone to start your creative engines. Perhaps staring in the mirror, grinning like an idiot, and telling yourself, “I’m going to go fail a bunch now, and try some new things that might not be for me, but that’s okay because I’m a precious cinnamon roll who deserves a chance.”

Do you need someone to give you permission to go after your goals? WELL YOU HAVE IT. What would you do if you weren’t afraid? What does that the annoying little voice in your head say you aren’t good enough to do? If you had six days left to live, would you be checking Tumblr every five minutes? Would you be hitting replay again on a video? Would you?

Be warned: if fame is the goal you’re setting for yourself, then you’re only going to be disappointed. Instead, look around you. Look for people in your life whose purpose has nothing to do with how many hits or likes or hearts (or stars or horseshoes or blue moons or pots of gold or rainbows) they have on social media. What are they doing? What excites you? Jump the fuck in.

Collaborate with your classmates. With your community. With that god-given BAMFy mentor who’s so awesome you have emoji heart eyes. Those are the people where you can invest your energy.

Your faves will always be there when you need a boost or inspiration or a break from real life. But don’t let them steal your strength. When you ration your talents and your passions on someone you’ll never know, you’ll never find out how far you could go. But it starts with those daring head pats. That spark of a thought that maybe one day you could give yourself the same amount of love. 

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