The Chill is Gone

March 14, 2016 § 1 Comment


Hannah writes,

Agh! Hello, Kathleen! I just got involved with a new Netflix series and I immediately became obsessed with one of the villains. I’ve always been one of those girls who swooned over the villain, but this dude was different. I have tendencies to obsess over people in bands and TV shows, so this isn’t new to me, but I literally cannot control myself whenever he pops up on the screen or says something or picks up a pen. My mom thinks I’m insane and tells me to chill, but I cannot chill. No chill is left in me. How do I deal with all these feelings?  I feel like I’m being really creepy, and I know that this phase will probably pass, but at the moment I don’t know what to do with myself.

Damn those pens and the people who pick them up! Hannah, I get it. I love villains too. And chill is overrated. Chill doth not make the world go round. And your mom shouldn’t be surprised, because unless you were adopted, those swoony genes are 50% hers. THANKS, MOM.

Dealing with fangirl feels is a lot like harnessing the power of an atom. If you do it right, you have an insane amount of energy that could power you for years. If you do it wrong, the earth becomes uninhabitable and people have to live in space for 97 years.  So maybe you don’t want chill. Maybe you don’t want to unplug yourself from those feels.

The long answer for learning how to deal is in my book, which I’ll shamelessly plug right now for you and your mother’s purchasing power. A shorter suggestion is that you think about your fondness for villains, this one in particular, as a resource.

Clearly you have the ability to recognize complexity and goodness in even the darkest of individuals. So what would happen if you did that for yourself? If you didn’t beat yourself up when you screw up royally? If you forgave yourself for your mistakes? If you practiced patience when it takes time to learn something? If you held that same hope when you picked up a pen to create something or sign your name?

There are no heroes or villains in real life. There are only people who choose to keep working on themselves, and people who refuse to grow. Be one of those people who sees herself as as a work in progress. Get as excited about yourself as you are about your villain. You can chill when you’re old.


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