Am I Done Fangirling?

August 24, 2016 § 1 Comment

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Michelle writes,

I’ve been finding myself not as into my usual obsessions lately.  My IRL collections are starting to bug me because they take up space, I’m not as passionate about things as I used to be, and I’m not really enjoying myself anymore when I hang out with my friends (I’m actually been getting annoyed because all they talk about are their fandoms).

I used to be hardcore about my obsessions, but now I feel more exasperated towards it all. And it’s weird because these feelings are really out of character for me… especially the “no longer enjoy time with friends” part. I thought maybe I was growing up but my friends are older than me which makes me feel even more strange.

Fangirling has been a major part of my life for so long but now… It’s like I hardly know myself at all anymore…What should I do?

Michelle, I used to think that fangirling was something I’d grow out of one day. And maybe it is for some people. But I like to think of it like the tide coming in and out. Sometimes you get swept in the current of emotions, and sometimes you’re left standing on dry land waiting for everyone else to haul their butts out and come play with you.

If your collections annoy you, box them up. Give them away to some deserving kid or nonprofit or sell them and keep the ones that will mean the most ten years from now. If your friends annoy you, change the subject. Ask them about their hopes and dreams. Ask a new friend out to lunch. Just don’t judge them for being passionate about something that you’re over. We’re all on our own unicorn timelines.

When I’m in fangirl low tide, I try to see it as an opportunity to get to know a different side of myself. With all that time that opens up, ask yourself–What is something you’ve always wanted to do? Maybe it’s learning a language, or taking up a hobby, or volunteering, or doing something simply for the joy of it. Make a list, and see what you’ve got.

As for your feels, I wouldn’t worry. For most fangirls, there will be many a day in life where we wake up and just can’t grasp that intensity we once had. Our feelings are just. . . gone. And that’s okay! I always have confidence that more fictional folks are always on the way to “ruin” my life. In the meantime, it looks like you have an opportunity to work on your own story. So start spinning some plot, and see what happens.




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